so, Valentine's Day is over.
and i did it on purpose to not make any shout outs or status updates about my thoughts (and yes, rants of bitterness) on the day itself.
but tonight felt right. to finally let it all out. (di na masyadong halata na bitter. hindi din!)
i won't hide it, Valentine's Day is not my favorite day/holiday of the year, in the last 10 years.
because i've been single that long. and V Day during all those years means, going out with single friends, being the 5th, 6th, or 7th wheel on couple-friends dates, strolling around the mall carrying an electric fan instead of a bunch of Valentine's treats, eating out alone with candle lights on the table, or staying at home, alone, watching Romantic Comedies, Romantic Dramas, Romantic Tragedies (my ultimate favorite!), anything painfully Romantic and drinking the night away.
yes, i am bitter (if di pa halata sa first few lines) for being single and alone on Valentine's Day (for the nth time).
and i don't buy the crap that this day isn't just meant for romantic love. that it's meant to be spent with people around you, who truly loves you- your mom, dad, siblings, kids, and friends.
yeah, i know that.
but really, who wouldn't agree that V Day is more exciting when seen and celebrated in that romantic context?
i'm just being real here!!! (kumontra hindi mag-agree! chos kayo!)
it sucks (yeah, masakit sa bangs!) to go out on V Day and see couples, flowers, balloons, chocolates, dinner promos, and everything red or heart-shaped everywhere (even Manong pedicab driver in our subdivision had a "Happy V Day!" heart cut-out hanging on his pedicab umbrella with matching tanung na "Ma'am wala kayong date?"!!!!).
so, what did i do on V Day? (done with the hugs and kisses to the kids, i love yous with the family, and polite replies to mushy text messages from friends.)
i took out my list of "Romantic Movies I'd Watch Starting this Valentine's Day Until the Year When Hopefully I Ain't Single and There's No More Reason to Post Valentine's Day Rants on my Blog Anymore"
And it's Romantic Movie #7 tonight.
(Eh di magpantasya na lang na ako na ang in love na leading lady sa movie.)
Peace & Love! (Love pa din?!?!?)
p.s. red is the color of love.
NOT!!!
red ang color pag may mali sa test paper.
lalo at bokya! :P
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Finally Learning How, When, and Why to Say No!
it was explained in one of my Psychology classes in college that there is a certain stage in a person's life when there is only one word in both the parent and the child's vocabulary: NO!
mom to child: No, don't touch that! It's dirty!
mom to child: Eat your peas; they're good for your health.
child to mom: No!
child to mom: May I go out and play in the rain?
mom to child: No!
mom to child: Clean your mess!
child to mom: No!
child to mom: Mom...
mom to child: NO!
i further understood this lesson with my own list of recollections of when i was a child.
and even more proofs now that i am playing the mom part.
and then i find myself contemplating on instances of me as an adult (apart from being a mom, that is) that i seem to have ditched the NO vocabulary.
how many instances when a NO was needed but i instead said Yes and Yes again.
and that list is infinite and endless. (ha!)
my problem with saying No happens for a number of reasons:
how do i say No to people i care about? without having to hurt, disappoint, or embarrass them? and make me feel guilty for saying No? or even make me regret my saying it?
when do i really say No? when i'm already pushed to say Yes? or when i already have that gut feel to say No?
and why should i really say No when there appears to be a lot more in store in saying Yes? why should i say No when i've always believed in "taking chances", "seizing the day", "settling differences", and "avoiding conflicts"?
it wasn't until a few days ago and especially today that i realized:
there is something really good and so much more with saying No.
and those were the first few No's that i actually didn't have any reservations saying.
how did i do it?
plain and simple. i was frank enough (tactless, if you may) in saying it. i have hurt, disappointed and yes, embarrassed people, but i said it. No, period. and No more lengthy explanations offered.
when did i do it?
when i immediately felt that saying Yes will not really be a good thing, both for me and for everybody that might be involved in one way or another. (i also had this strange buzz in my head, saying, "Not a good deal, girl!)
why did i do it?
i had to prove myself that i can say No for all the right reasons.
i had to put my feet down and stand up for myself.
i had to shield myself from a big Yes! that could turn into a terrible Oh No!
i had to trust myself with a decision that could merit more Yes even if it comes from a No.
AND...
i simply HAD TO SAY NO.
mom to child: No, don't touch that! It's dirty!
mom to child: Eat your peas; they're good for your health.
child to mom: No!
child to mom: May I go out and play in the rain?
mom to child: No!
mom to child: Clean your mess!
child to mom: No!
child to mom: Mom...
mom to child: NO!
i further understood this lesson with my own list of recollections of when i was a child.
and even more proofs now that i am playing the mom part.
and then i find myself contemplating on instances of me as an adult (apart from being a mom, that is) that i seem to have ditched the NO vocabulary.
how many instances when a NO was needed but i instead said Yes and Yes again.
and that list is infinite and endless. (ha!)
my problem with saying No happens for a number of reasons:
how do i say No to people i care about? without having to hurt, disappoint, or embarrass them? and make me feel guilty for saying No? or even make me regret my saying it?
when do i really say No? when i'm already pushed to say Yes? or when i already have that gut feel to say No?
and why should i really say No when there appears to be a lot more in store in saying Yes? why should i say No when i've always believed in "taking chances", "seizing the day", "settling differences", and "avoiding conflicts"?
it wasn't until a few days ago and especially today that i realized:
there is something really good and so much more with saying No.
and those were the first few No's that i actually didn't have any reservations saying.
how did i do it?
plain and simple. i was frank enough (tactless, if you may) in saying it. i have hurt, disappointed and yes, embarrassed people, but i said it. No, period. and No more lengthy explanations offered.
when did i do it?
when i immediately felt that saying Yes will not really be a good thing, both for me and for everybody that might be involved in one way or another. (i also had this strange buzz in my head, saying, "Not a good deal, girl!)
why did i do it?
i had to prove myself that i can say No for all the right reasons.
i had to put my feet down and stand up for myself.
i had to shield myself from a big Yes! that could turn into a terrible Oh No!
i had to trust myself with a decision that could merit more Yes even if it comes from a No.
AND...
i simply HAD TO SAY NO.
Monday, February 6, 2012
at gumimik na naman ako nung weekend..
nitong nagdaang weekend, i went out with 2 totally different sets of friends on 2 different kinds of hanging out. fully booked ang weekend na ito ah.
on Saturday, i went out on a last-minute (biglaan lang talaga ito) drinking night out with some elementary friends.
it was surely fun with all the reminsicing and kulitan.
ang isang bucket, naging 2, tpos 3. tpos sa pang-apat, ayawan na ako. (ready na ako mag-ice cream or shawarma kaya?)
and i went home a little tipsy (normal na yan) but still very much in one good piece. (lagi naman ako in one piece nakakauwi, by the way.)
i woke up on Sunday after a few hours of sleep (3 oras lang!) with a terrible headache kaso, may lakad ako.
this Sunday was about visiting very good friends whom i haven't seen in a few years, welcoming a cute, little baby (nadagdagan inaanak ko ulit, thank you!), and really catching up on every missed event (good and not-so-good ones) in everybody's lives.
kwentuhan, pichuran, kainan. kwentuhan ng kwentuhan para makaabot sa 2 years na di nagkita-kita. (pati ung latest tsismis sa The Buzz sinama na namin dahil nanunuod na rin lang kami.)
lipat ng venue (without the baby this time) and kwentuhan, pichuran, kainan even more.
hanggang kami na lang ang tao sa restaurant na naman.
pero ang sadyang kakaiba dito, pagkain at tubig lang ang laman ng table namin.
oo kakaiba na ito para sa akin.:)
for someone used to drinking until i drop or hanggang kami na lang ang tao sa loob ng bar at uwing-uwi na ang mga crew, an alcohol-free night out is a VERY RARE but VERY REFRESHING treat.
ipinagbubunyi talaga!
umuwi man akong late pa din at super antok pero yun lang yun- antok.
walang super hilo.
walang worry na may maiwan na gamit sa jeep at hahagilapin ko kinabukasan sa terminal.
AT syempre: walang matinding hang-over the next day.
panalo!
posible naman pala.
pwedeng-pwede naman talaga.
akala mo lang hindi pero pwede! (pwede! pwede!)
hanggang sa susunod na balanseng weekend gimik ulit.
peace and love!
on Saturday, i went out on a last-minute (biglaan lang talaga ito) drinking night out with some elementary friends.
it was surely fun with all the reminsicing and kulitan.
ang isang bucket, naging 2, tpos 3. tpos sa pang-apat, ayawan na ako. (ready na ako mag-ice cream or shawarma kaya?)
and i went home a little tipsy (normal na yan) but still very much in one good piece. (lagi naman ako in one piece nakakauwi, by the way.)
i woke up on Sunday after a few hours of sleep (3 oras lang!) with a terrible headache kaso, may lakad ako.
this Sunday was about visiting very good friends whom i haven't seen in a few years, welcoming a cute, little baby (nadagdagan inaanak ko ulit, thank you!), and really catching up on every missed event (good and not-so-good ones) in everybody's lives.
kwentuhan, pichuran, kainan. kwentuhan ng kwentuhan para makaabot sa 2 years na di nagkita-kita. (pati ung latest tsismis sa The Buzz sinama na namin dahil nanunuod na rin lang kami.)
lipat ng venue (without the baby this time) and kwentuhan, pichuran, kainan even more.
hanggang kami na lang ang tao sa restaurant na naman.
pero ang sadyang kakaiba dito, pagkain at tubig lang ang laman ng table namin.
oo kakaiba na ito para sa akin.:)
for someone used to drinking until i drop or hanggang kami na lang ang tao sa loob ng bar at uwing-uwi na ang mga crew, an alcohol-free night out is a VERY RARE but VERY REFRESHING treat.
ipinagbubunyi talaga!
umuwi man akong late pa din at super antok pero yun lang yun- antok.
walang super hilo.
walang worry na may maiwan na gamit sa jeep at hahagilapin ko kinabukasan sa terminal.
AT syempre: walang matinding hang-over the next day.
panalo!
posible naman pala.
pwedeng-pwede naman talaga.
akala mo lang hindi pero pwede! (pwede! pwede!)
hanggang sa susunod na balanseng weekend gimik ulit.
peace and love!
Thursday, February 2, 2012
redirecting...
it's been more than 6 months since my last post. :(
i have not been true to myself nor with my objectives in putting up this blog.
i vowed to write and share about bits and pieces of my life.
yet the comfort of a pen and a diary before i go to bed at night got the better of me.
well, i have to redirect myself and this blog.
i know i have to because i want to.
and so here it goes...
peace and love!
i have not been true to myself nor with my objectives in putting up this blog.
i vowed to write and share about bits and pieces of my life.
yet the comfort of a pen and a diary before i go to bed at night got the better of me.
well, i have to redirect myself and this blog.
i know i have to because i want to.
and so here it goes...
peace and love!
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